My Unbreakable Rules
I was inspired by a recent podcast by Tim Ferriss, where he discussed various engaging topics. One topic that resonated with me was the idea of creating unbreakable rules instead of continually struggling to muster discipline, especially when facing the headwinds of temptation. This is a tactic Daniel Kahneman utilizes to instill structure in his life. For instance, he mentioned never agreeing to anything over the phone to avoid being overly susceptible to manipulation and bias due to the significant role heuristics play in verbal conversations. Inspired by this, I want to share some of my unbreakable rules that have recently been aiding my mental and physical health. These rules also have a positive impact on my professional life and work ethic.
Rule 1: Wake up Early
Early can mean 4 am to some, 7 am for others. What's important is the meaning it holds for you, not the actual time. For me, it's crucial to have at least 2 hours in the morning for myself. This time allows me to wake up at my pace, engage in some activity, spend time with my family (wife, dogs, cats, chickens, ducks), and invest in personal development. It should be uninterrupted time, which I understand can be challenging for parents—probably why the 4 am club exists; it's when the kids are less likely to interrupt.
Rule 2: Workout Every Day
Interestingly, this is one of Shane Parrish’s rules. Why is this rule important? It helps me get up and out of the house every day. Ideally, I’d get some fresh air first thing in the morning. The concept of winning the morning is not foreign in the self-help and motivational space, and it has added tremendous value to my quality of life. A workout can range from a walk, a run, a short gym visit, to 20 minutes of yoga—anything that intentionally gets your heart rate up.
Rule 3: Drink Lots of Water in the First Half of the Day
I often struggle with hydration as I get very focused and forget to drink water. When I am hydrated, I feel much better, and it also encourages me to move around more in the first part of the day, which keeps me focused and motivated. I aim to drink at least three 24 oz jugs, in addition to what I drink on my run, before noon.
Rule 4: Meditate Every Day
I meditate after my morning walk or run, even if it's as short as 20 minutes of yoga followed by 1-2 minutes of meditation. The essence of this rule is to sit and be quiet for at least 1-2 minutes. Although thoughts may wander through your mind, gently brush them aside and return to the quiet. Given the incessant technological noise in our lives, this quiet time is arguably the most critical part of my day.
Rule 5: Eat Healthy Meals During the Week
This means I have two cheat days on the weekend (which is usually when I eat out with friends anyway). This rule is challenging due to my love for food, but it's a work in progress.
Rule 6: No Complaining
This rule is also tough for me, so it's still a work in progress. Complaining solves nothing; in fact, it’s proven to trigger more stress than it alleviates. When I catch myself complaining, I express gratitude for the listening ear. If I really need to vent, I limit it to a minute and then move on. These mini-rules are helping me break this habit.
Rule 7: Listen More Than You Speak
This is SUPER hard for me, but it's so important to listen. You'll be surprised at how much people appreciate a good listener, and you'll also learn much more when you're quiet. As a male leader, I often feel pressured to speak and showcase my confidence, but in reality, a better leader listens and encourages their team to share their thoughts. This also makes you a better partner and friend and provides relief during discussions as you don’t always have to voice an opinion. This practice has alleviated much of my stress.
Rule 8: Share Gratitude Every Day with Someone
This could be as simple as telling your spouse you love and appreciate them or complimenting a coworker for their support. It could also be reaching out to a family member or friend you haven’t contacted in a while. You'll be surprised how happy people are when you say something nice, and how wonderful it feels.
Rule 9: Be Intentional with Your Time
Every moment is precious. Use it with intention, and you'll be amazed at how far you'll go. When invited to a meeting, ask how you can contribute. When scrolling through social media, question its contribution to your goals. During dinner with someone, pay closer attention, make more eye contact, and ask more questions about their life.
Rule 10: Plan Each Day the Night Before
I use my calendar to allocate time for various activities, ensuring a balanced day that includes time for work, fitness, recreation,
Here’s an example using my schedule template:
Morning (2 hours) 7-9am
1 hour for fitness
30 min for stretching and meditation
30 min to get ready
Workday (8 hours) 9-5pm
15 min between meetings
1 hour for lunch
2-3 hours of time to do deep work each day
Evening (4 hours) 5-9pm
1 hour for dinner
30 min for fitness (walking dogs)
30 min for chores
2 hours of open recreational time for projects, continued learning
Wind down (2 hours) 9-11pm
1 hour Reading, watching tv (shouldn’t do that I KNOW!)
30 min night hygiene routine
30 min closing chores, dishes, make coffee, lay close out etc…
In summary, these are my rules that helped me but I encourage you all to create your own structure of rules that match your goals since they may be different to mine. The rules make questions like “why aren’t you eating desert?” or “have a drink with us! Why aren’t you drinking?” much easier over time because you will enforce the rule and say “I don’t eat desert.” or “I don’t drink on weekdays.” and people will eventually stop asking. Whereas if you are inconsistent and say “I can’t eat desert today.” They’ll ask again and again and the temptation will be harder to avoid in times of weakness. There are also studies that show when you attach a rule to your identity you are more likely to achieve the goal rather than creating a loose structure that’s time bound or metric bound like “I am not eating desert till I lose xx pounds.”
I hope this helps others on their journey and enhances how they contribute to the people and places in their lives as much as it’s helped me.
